he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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