Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
