I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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