Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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