I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
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Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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