hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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