she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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