I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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