First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
