Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
