You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
