is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize