Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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