Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
