My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
