So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
