Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
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