If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
