i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
