nut hugger
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
