after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize