If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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