sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
