I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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