Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
