Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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