She went from zero to smokin in five shots
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
