Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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