Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
