Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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