can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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