Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
