and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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