Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just forgot I was standing up.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
