At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
