We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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