Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
