Small penises have feelings too.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
