i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
