Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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