If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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