do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
