Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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