i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
