New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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