i barfeds in our rink
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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