Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize