you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
