Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
