Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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