oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
