he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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