New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
