some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is it because I queefed?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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