There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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