...so i touched it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
