I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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