Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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